i'm rocking myself to sleep trying to soothe the waves of pain in my body i am my own caretaker like a gardener protecting her plants treating the precious flowers nursing their bright blooms giving them light and love i depend on myself to get me through the day massaging my doubts encouraging my tears into writing writing that will fill my journal pages covering the corners with purple ink it has become so easy to write words bitter words that strike at my being, my confidence so easy that i think i've forgotten how much i truly do care about myself i am my own ally my own friend and i appreciate who i am