everything is muffled

I keep trying to pull my ends together like tying shoestrings as a child but the laces are too short i watch the destruction transpire through blurred lenses the mascara stains like watercolor mistakes everything i have shoved so far beneath has been muffled a slight murmur in the distance incomprehensible to anyone tonight, i hear it all so loud, so clear an orchestra playing right against my ears it's deafening the result of countless months forcing tribulations into treasure chests until they can hold nothing more the lids burst open their contents erupting replacing my blood with anguish